Thankfulness and Gratitude

Thankfulness and gratitude are often identified as foundational values in our country and in our lives. With Thanksgiving coming soon, I have been reflecting on the meaning of thankfulness, gratitude and the relationship between these values. If these are core values, how and why do they matter? If they matter, how do we incorporate them into our own lives and in the way we interact with others?

Regarding thankfulness, Alice Walker, author of “The Color Purple,” says that: “Thank you is the best prayer that anyone could say. I say that one a lot. Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility, understanding.” So, saying thank you is a way to express gratitude. Likewise, to say thank you means there are also things identified for which we are grateful. “When it comes to life,” G.K.Chesterton teaches “the critical thing is whether (we) take things for granted or (accept) them with gratitude.”

Yet, if my experiences in sitting around Thanksgiving meals is any indication, it seems that when the family leader asks each person to say something for which they are thankful, doing this always feels uncomfortable, especially once the obvious choices of family, good food and friends, and favorite activities and possessions are expressed.

Perhaps more to the point, doesn’t thankfulness entail more than acknowledging the good things in our lives? In the quote above, Alice Walker presses this point when she includes that saying thank you, not only expresses gratitude, but also humility and understanding. The founder of a food importing business called “Amazing Elephant,” Gerald Good, presses this point further by asserting “If you want to turn your life around try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily.”

But how? Author and pastor, John Ortberg offers the following consideration. “Gratitude is the ability to experience life as a gift. It liberates us from the prison of self-preoccupation.” Religious leader, David O. McKay, explains the relationship between thankfulness and gratitude in this way. “Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude. Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness.Thankfulness may consist merely of words. Gratitude is shown in acts.” Even more powerfully, the Roman philosopher, Cicero, asserts that: “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but theparent of all others.”

So, if learning how to express thankfulness and experience gratitude matters this greatly, perhaps there are more creative ways to incorporate these core values into our Thanksgiving celebrations and explore what they mean on a more than surface level. Here are some ideas I found online for your consideration.

Play a variation of the game “I’m Going to the Grocery Store to buy . . .” In the new version, you would spell out the word “thankful” or “thankfulness,” depending on the number of people at your gathering. The first person would say, “Today is Thanksgiving. I am thankful for the delicious turkey we just enjoyed.” The next person repeats what the first person said, then adds something for the second letter (h). You continue around the table with each person repeating what others before them said and adding an item for the next letter until as a group you spell the entire word. This way of expressing thanks is more relaxed, playful and may facilitate spontaneous interaction among those participating.

Host a Gratitude Scavenger Hunt. You could do this in the traditional way by making a list of five to ten items to find or bring (if people are traveling to your home or a common location). Here’s a start for your list: (1) Take a picture of or bring something in nature you appreciate to show others. (2) Bring or find an item we take for granted that is useful to celebrate together and appreciate morefully. (3) Share a memory or tell a story that puts another person in a positive light that you know they will enjoy hearing. Notice that finding each of these items involves intentional thought, acts ofconsideration for others and participation that builds the community present at your celebration.

As a way to deepen understanding about thankfulness and gratitude, write or type the eight quotations on these core values found in this column and place the paper slips in a specially decorated thanksgiving container. One at a time, ask each person to pick a quotation from the container, read it, and share their response and invite others to contribute their thoughts to join in the conversation.

At a church I was a member of over a decade ago, each Sunday our congregation spoke these beautiful words of affirmation together written by Margaret Montgomery; “Life is a gift for which we are grateful. We gather in community (or around our Thanksgiving table) to celebrate the glories and mysteries of this great gift.” May each of you experience some version of gratitude for life in the uniqueness of your own celebration of Thanksgiving. For as author and cultural anthropologist, Ralph Blum suggests, “There is a calmness to a life lived in gratitude, a quiet joy.”

Having lived in Jefferson since only December 2021, Bryan knows he will always be a newcomer in town. Though this may surprise his readers, he wants everyone to know that he truly delights in this role!